Accascuse me?

I know nobody reads these long life problems I write on here and I don’t know why I write them. I guess I just like getting it out, but knowing that nobody who honestly knows who I’m talking about will read it. Well any way here is the juicey sob story for today. This guy I’m friends with (the guy I write about almost everytime I write on here,) is gone to camp and he is my best friend. Last year we were so close, he was at my house all the time (this guy also happened to be my neighbor.) We never knew each other before he moved here but my aunt went to school with his mom, my mom went to school with his uncle, and his grandpa was the Pastor at my parents’ wedding. So you could say we had it coming for us. We instantly clicked, and it was just great to have a friend that I could talk to about anything. That whole year was great and we had an amazing connection. We were open with each other from the beginning, and we agreed to never date each other or our friends, because it would be akward if we broke up. To this day we have kept this promise, but I don’t think I want to anymore. I love this kid. We have been through alot of crap this year, him being extremely sick, my grandmas’ both passing away, and both of us had friend troubles and regular school drama. We got through it together and we never asked for sympathy. Then he finally gets to go back to school, and slowly but surely works his way back to being able to run track, but then he got a girlfriend. To top it off he told me he had a girlfriend the night before my birthday. I was okay with it until this chick hated me from the start and she talked bad about me to my other friends. Which I never really let bother me cause I honestly don’t care what she thinks of me. I have self respect and friends who care, I don’t need her to like me. Then she got to share in all his comeback moments, which sucked because it meant so much to me. When he reached his record again in high jump both his parents and him told me but she got to be there for the hug and that hurt. Now they broke up and that’s great to me but he was alittle resevered about it to begin with. On top of all that he moved away from me and now we don’t get our close time. Plus my parents really don’t approve of him anymore and he knows that and doesn’t want to tick them off. So last week I told him how I felt and really I don’t know how he feels. That leaves us off at today where he is at camp till August 9. Yayy! UGH. I just really need somebody to talk to and well the person I would talk to, it’s kinda about him so this is where I am at this moment.

In general my summer hasn’t been really productive. I’ve hung out with my friends once, went to summer school, and went on a shopping spree, that’s about it. And I’m thankful for all of that but I feel apart from my friends more than ever. They all go to the same church so they see each other but I don’t get to see them. And they all kind of have a closer bond with each other that I’m not included in. I mean I’m super glad all my friends know God don’t get me wrong. I wish some of my other friends knew him like they do. Then this other friend is a grade younger than us and he has changed sooo much, and I don’t know if we will ever really be friends again. We deny it but we’ve lost our closeness, I’ve been replaced by many other girls and he acts like I’m suppose to be okay with that, but I’m not. It really bugs me and I just need him back. But who knows how that will go, I mean with my luck he will be completely gone by second semester. There is nothing holding us together anymore. Oh well, I will still have my other friends and they aren’t my second choice trust me it’s just he was my rock when something was wrong. I love my friends every single one of them and I’m just ready for school.
August 15th BABY!!

You mean everything to me and I miss you so much. We talk everyday about little things or sometimes big things but we haven’t seen each other since May! Before this year that never would have happened. Now I ask you if we are okay and you say idk? Are you kidding me??? You didn’t leave off that way and that’s why I love you soo much. I said I didn’t want to lose you and your reply was you won’t.. I’m tall… I Don’t get lost. Haha. You are such a dork. The conversation got deeper and I know that It meant just as much to you as it did to me. Which is good. And I honestly Don’t want to lose you. I can’t lose you, you are my everything. We are further apart than ever and I miss you, I miss us, I miss who i was when I was with you. Hopefully we will work this out! Love Ya!